My Acre In Hell

Three weeks and I’ve lost one pound.

The trainer did the weight and measure yesterday and, well, it’s not as good as I would have liked. There was, of course, 5 days of birthday celebration and not watching my calorie consumption as close as I had been. Also, I went 6 days without a gym workout. I’m not making excuses for my failure, but I do know the reasons. Apparently, these are the inches I’ve lost:

Neck: .25 in.

Chest: .75 in.

Biceps: .25 in.

Forearm: 0 in.

Waist: 2 in. (I don’t think so)

Hip: 1 in.

Upper Thigh: 0 in.

Calf: .25 in.

Total 4.5 inches lost.

I’m a little skeptical of those measurements. From now on, Mr. Henry will be conducting and tracking my measurements. I know he’s not trying to sell me a $350 training package and is more likely to be honest about my progress (or lack of progress).

Oh! I received a birthday gift from a friend - yoga classes! I think I’ll start with a Hatha class.

It’s been another week, so here’s the update:

One more pound gone. It’s a little frustrating that I can’t just drop the pounds off, but I haven’t exactly been keeping to the diet all that well. I’m letting myself slip up and not getting too bent out of shape about it. If I would watch it just a little bit better I could see losing 2 pounds a week instead of one. But, I’m taking baby steps.

I am most proud of my gym time. I have been going 4 times a week. I even went on Sunday afternoon! Some days are harder than others to get my butt there, but I’m doing it. The workouts aren’t any easier. I’m just feeling stronger and more determined. And I’m starting to actually enjoy the soreness. It’s my proof that I’ve been doing something. I’ve got the ab machine licked (not literally, that’s gross). After 10 minutes of cardio, I want to quit, but I keep going and once I get to the 25 minute mark I’m a little disappointed that I only have 5 minutes left. The leg workouts are the hardest for me to do on my own. They still really hurt and I can’t keep count, so I’m not sure I’m actually getting in all of my reps. With the trainer, she keeps count so I don’t have to and she pushes me to finish them all. I might try harder to find a workout buddy for a couple of days a week. A) If I have an “appointment” I’m more likely to get to the gym and B) I’ll have someone to help me count.

Speaking of the trainer… I was at the gym with her today and as I was working the bicep machine, the trainer actually poked my arm and commented on my new muscle. I was wondering if she’d notice. Once I get the fat off, I’m going to have some nice muscles to show!

Next Tuesday is the last day with the trainer. I will have all of my measurements done again and an “official” report to give. Unfortunately, this is my birthday weekend and I just know I’m not going to do well with the diet. But I can at least keep up with the exercise. We’ll be at the coast (I only wish I looked better in a swimsuit), so if the place we’re staying doesn’t have a little fitness room, I’ll walk the beach. Then we’ll be in San Antonio staying at La Mansión del Rio and I’m pretty certain they have a fitness center and a spa. I wonder if Mr. Henry will let me indulge in a massage…

Unless something of note develops between now and next week, I’m off for a few days of celebration.

I have lost 1 pound in 7 days according to the scale at the gym. Not too bad considering the weekend free-for-all, but at this rate I won’t hit my goal until sometime in mid January. And, really, it will probably be much later because I forgot about all of the holidays coming up soon. I must either work harder at the gym or harder at the diet.

Speaking of the gym, I was back with the trainer working on my legs today. I have found my new nemesis - the machine that works my quad muscles. Good god! The burning! We were using heavier weights than we were last week and it hurt. I might skip the gym tomorrow to allow them some recovery time. On a high note, however, the crunch machine and I are learning to get along.

to try and stick to a diet. I didn’t do so well this weekend with my weight loss plan. We attended a wedding on Friday night and another on Saturday. I decided to not think about it too much and just enjoy myself. Of course, that meant that I overindulged. I did better than I expected I would at the Friday wedding, but on Saturday I really let it go. I had two pieces of cake. It was, however, some of the best cake I’ve ever had. The bride’s cake was a carrot cake (veggies!) with butter cream frosting and the groom’s cake was chocolate with a coffee cream filling. I’m drooling just thinking about it. And I went seriously overboard with the alcohol consumption. I’d be surprised if I just kept my weight were it was and didn’t gain any. I’ll get a weekly update tomorrow, so today I’m off to the gym. Can I lose 2 pounds in a day?

Ugh.

Yes, I know I haven’t posted anything in quite some time and I’m not sure anyone stops by my place anymore, but I wanted to have somewhere to document my latest journey. This adventure doesn’t involve airports or exotic destinations, but it does involve lost luggage.

In September 2000 I weighed 107 pounds and wore a size 4. And, well, now I don’t. Beginning of September 2007, I weighed almost 150 pounds and could barely squeeze my fat ass into a size 10. I’ve been complaining about being fat for a while now, but I never did anything about it. Until now.

I figured I had a few choices:

1. Do nothing. Continue to gain weight and complain about it, but become comfortable being unhealthy and fat.

2. Exercise. Continue to eat and drink as I normally do, but add activity. I might eventually lose some weight, but it’ll take a while. Which means that I’ll get frustrated at not seeing results, become disillusioned and decide that the gym membership expense isn’t worth it.

3. Diet. I mean an actual only-eat-rabbit-food diet and cut out all alcohol. Yeah, like that’ll happen!

4. All of the above.

I started on Monday, September 24, with gym membership. The first day I could barely get through 15 minutes on the recumbent bike. I tried some of the weight machines, but I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. Tuesday, I pushed myself to do 30 minutes on the bike and then did some upper body work on the machines. I could feel that I had worked some muscles, but nothing too serious. Wednesday, I had a trainer with me. Holy crap! Today I’m very sore. She helped me through an upper and lower body workout on the machines and I have found my nemesis - the crunch machine. Damn! I got through the first 20 reps (barely) before we went on the lower body and, then, that bitch took me back to the crunch machine for another 20 reps! By the last 10 I was cursing - at her, at the machine and at myself for being so out of shape. I got through it all, but my abs are screaming at me today.

I also started counting my calorie intake. So, it’s not so much a diet as finding out where my calories come from. Mr. Henry and I will go overboard on food occasionally (we really like good food!), but compared to the average American diet we eat quite healthy. It’s my alcohol consumption that’s the problem. I get more calories from alcohol than the average person consumes in a day - even those eating a Big Mac every day. I realize that if I want to have 6 beers with friends, I have to cut out at least 600 calories of food. Which is difficult considering that now I’m exercising and burning calories and am starving! But I enjoy meeting friends for beer or sitting on the patio and polishing off a 12-pack with Mr. Henry. So, here’s where the “do nothing” part of the plan comes in. I’ll continue to enjoy my beer time, but I’ll cut back on the number of nights per week to one or two. I’ll also cut down on the number of beers I have when it’s a “beer day”. As well, on days that I know I’ll be at a party or happy hour, I will arrange my food calories to compensate for some of the beer calories. Seriously, I really enjoy drinking beer and to cut it out completely would make me miserable (and I’d make Mr. Henry miserable).

So that’s my “diet”. I will watch what I eat. I will read food labels and pay attention to portion sizes and I will become best friends with fruits and veggies. I will count my calories. I will make sure that when I include alcohol that I make up for the calories consumed either by cutting out that snack or by spending more time with exercise.

My exercise plan is pretty simple. Just get going! I will do 30 - 45 minutes of cardio exercise 4 days per week. I will do upper body weight machines 2 days per week and lower body 2 days per week. I might try to find a class to take on the weekends. A swim class? A yoga class? Who knows, but something.

And to keep me motivated, here are my stats for the world to see:

As of September 25, 2007:

Weight = 143 pounds

Body Fat = 32%

Lean Body Mass = 97.81 pounds

Pant Size = 10 (closer to 12)

Goal for December 4, 2007:

Weight = 128 pounds

Body Fat = 23.5%

Lean Body Mass = 98.44 pounds

Pant Size = 8

Total Lost Luggage = 15 pounds

Tomorrow is Global Orgasm Day!

I am still trying to figure out how to format my posts the way I want them formatted (indents, tabs, bulleted lists, etc). For some reason this damn editor thinks it is smarter than I am. It’s not!

Rep. Eissler, who has an apparent fascination with outdoor advertising signs (HB 410, HB 412, HB 413) and a doesn’t like barking dogs (HB 408) now wants to regulate beer kegs.

Introducing HB 411:

Basically, this bill requires stores that sell kegs to put a “Keg Registration” label on each keg. The registration must include:

(1) a keg registration number;
(2) the name, address, telephone number, and license or permit number of the license or permit holder; and
(3) any other information required by the commission.

And before the store can sell you a keg, you have to complete a “Keg Registration Declaration and Receipt Form” (let’s call it KRDRF). This must contain:

(1) the name and address of the purchaser;
(2) the keg registration number;
(3) the date and time of the purchase;
(4) the form of identification presented by the purchaser;
(5) a statement signed by the purchaser indicating that the purchaser:

(A) is 21 years of age or older;
(B) does not intend to allow persons under 21 years of age to consume the alcoholic beverage purchased; and
(C) will not remove or obliterate or allow the removal or obliteration of the registration label affixed to the keg; and
(6) any other information required by the commission.

The store selling the keg must keep the records for one year - the KRDRF and other documents relating to the sale, including the registration label. And the store must allow these records to be inspected.

I would love for someone to explain to me how this is going work out:

Sec. 111.05. REMOVAL OF KEG REGISTRATION LABEL PROHIBITED.
A person other than the license or permit holder who sold the alcoholic beverage in the keg may not remove, alter, deface, or obliterate the keg registration label affixed to the keg.

(b) If a keg is returned without a keg registration label or with a keg registration label that has been altered, defaced, or obliterated, the license or permit holder shall report the name of the person who purchased the keg to the commission and the local law enforcement agency.

Sec. 111.08. CRIMINAL OFFENSES.
(a) A person other than a license or permit holder commits an offense if the person possesses a keg containing an alcoholic beverage that does not have a keg registration label affixed to the keg.
(b) A person commits an offense if the person removes, alters, defaces, or obliterates the keg registration label affixed to a keg in violation of this chapter.
(c) An offense under this section is a Class C misdemeanor.

Sec. 111.09. DEFENSE. It is a defense to prosecution under Section 111.08 that:
(1) the person is the purchaser of the keg or another person authorized to possess the keg;
(2) the keg was stolen; and
(3) the theft was reported by the purchaser or other person authorized to possess the keg to the local law enforcement agency within 24 hours of the theft.

The reason I’m curious about this is, does this lawmaker and any of those that might happen to vote for this bill understand what usually happens to kegs? Many times, they get put into a large trash can and covered with ice. As the ice melts, more ice is added to keep the keg cold eventually leading to a keg floating in water. In addition, there are those that have consumed from the keg that will, on occasion, mistake the large trash-can-cooling-device as their person puke receptacle / actual trash can . So, my questions are:

1) Will the label being supplied be water-proof and puke resistant? If not,
2) Who actually receives the misdemeanor offense if the label falls off / was altered / obliterated?

a) The maker / seller of the ice that melted?
b) The drunk guy that puked all over it?
c) The person who signed the KRDRF?

Suddenly purchasing a keg in Texas requires more hassle that buying a gun.

Senator Lucio, who has authored or co-sponsored such bills as SB 71: Raising Teacher Pay and SB 95: Raising the Minimum Wage and SB 148: Putting Safety Belts on School Buses , has now decided to tackle the outrageousness of not having every football game of every Texas team televised on cable, but instead, a couple of them televised on the NFL Network.

Introducing Senate Concurrent Resolution 2

WHEREAS, Generations of Texans have long enjoyed viewing the state’s professional football franchises and college football teams on television with friends and family; and
WHEREAS, Most Texans are not able to attend professional or college football games in person because the geography of the state is so vast; and
WHEREAS, A dispute between cable television providers and the NFL Network has interfered with the ability of fans to enjoy and support their favorite football teams in the 2006 season, resulting in a Texas collegiate team playing in a major bowl game televised by the NFL Network but not carried by the major cable providers of this state and further resulting in one of the state’s storied professional football teams playing in a Saturday night football game not scheduled to be made available for viewing in the majority of the cable television households in this state; and …

Until I read this bill, I had no idea of the seriousness of the problem. According to the ESPN Bowl Schedule the “Major Bowl Game” that we won’t be able to see unless we have the NFL Network is the Insight Bowl and the “Texas collegiate team” playing is Texas Tech against Minnesota on December 29. The “state’s storied professional football team” playing in a Saturday game is Dallas against Atlanta on December 16. Again, you will only be able to watch the game if you have the NFL Network.

So, we see the problem now, Senator Lucio, but how do you intend on fixing it?

RESOLVED, That, if the private corporations are not able to put the interests of the citizens of Texas first, the legislature urgently request that the appropriate state and federal regulatory agencies intervene to settle this matter;

Nice.
See there “private corporations”? If you aren’t willing to give us what we want, when we want it and for the price we are willing to pay, we’ll just legislate that you have to.
Give me my football! Don’t make me get my Senator!

[Update: Rep. Menendez has now introduced this into the Texas House as well.]

Here’s another update with interesting bills that I’ll be paying attention to.

SB 134, by Jeff Wentworth: Eliminating Straight-Party voting. I guess from now on only Gay-Party voting.

SB 133, by Jeff Wentworth: This is relating to Wildlife Management designation of private property as it applies to property taxes. This is interesting to Mr. Henry and I because we own land that is currently under a wildlife management exemption and we hope to keep it. In order to keep this tax exemption, we must continually jump through hoops with the county appraisal board. The problem is that the hoops keep moving and changing. So, anything regarding this exemption is important for us to know. I’m not exactly sure how this bill will change things for us, but now you know that I’ll be watching it and will let y’all know what comes of it.

There are several bills introduced to allow gambling. Senator Ellis’ bill, SJR 8, is the most broad. The others are directed specifically at Indian Tribes, Tribal Organizations and Tribal Land.

HB 10, by Chavez

HJR 10, by Chavez

HJR 14, by Chavez

HJR 15, by Chavez

Ms. Chavez knows that if you propose enough legislation regarding the same thing one of them might actually get a floor vote.